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March 08 如果咖啡是愛情咖啡真的會令人上癮！如果你有飲咖啡的習慣，你就會明白。 咖啡令人上癮的地方，除了因為本身有‘可可’的成份之外，最重要是可以提神，令你不自覺地成為習慣，慢慢愛上它，形成心癮。所以我覺得咖啡同愛情一樣。 愛情是會上癮的！一旦你接觸過愛情，你就再也不能抽身出去，形成習慣。就算一段感情完結，你只會尋找第二段的感情，而不會從此不再談戀愛，因為愛情是會上癮的！ 愛情好比咖啡一樣，大家都有濃、淡、苦、甜。有些人喜歡較濃的咖啡，我把它比喻為刺激的愛情；有些人喜歡較淡的咖啡，我將它形容為平淡、安穩的關係；有些人愛選擇較苦的，就像那些比較喜歡付出、不求收穫的人；另外有些會選擇較甜的，就好像那些不會付出太多但渴望得到很多收成的人！沒有甚麼對或錯、好與不好，各人也有自己的口味、喜好和選擇。 愛情亦可以給大家提神的作用，有沒有感覺得到如果大家的愛情關係良好、愉快，工作的時候都會比較起勁呢？ 所以愛情和咖啡一樣，也是會令人上癮的！！ 會撒嬌的女人最好命 女人會撒嬌，就能為自己和家人帶來福氣， 不只一生好命，身邊的雞犬也跟著升天。 相反的，女人嘴巴太臭太刻薄， 下場不是家破人亡，就是孤苦病夭。 如果人生是咖啡，撒嬌就像糖， March 06 這就是我的性格 我是個感覺敏銳，心思非常細膩的人，很能夠體會別人的感覺，並且會常常想到別人的事情，比如重視對方，以及對方的人際關係，重視那些自己喜歡的人，身邊周圍的人、自己的家人等，因此我的生活圈會小一點，與圈外人士的接觸也會少一些。思惟太細膩，跟人相處的方式可能會較為迂迴曲折，人際關係因此會有不順利的現象喔！ 在年輕時，往往會遭遇到很多辛苦的階段，但是最後都能在各自的範圍內成為領導者，即使不具有國王般的領導地位，也能在某些範籌內擁有支配集團的能力，而且即使處在人生較弱的運勢中，也會保有強烈的意志力支撐，成為領袖人物，保存自己的實力。 感情上的伴侶可能會遇上很多個以後，才會塵埃落定，問題出在我喜歡無微不至的照顧對方，卻也希望對方能完完全全聽我的話，因此造成彼此的壓力都太大，一旦戀情出現問題就會很快分手，然後又開始找尋下一個心新歡，不停的重複循環；但如果二人在聚少離多的狀況下，減少磨擦，反而有可能讓戀情維持得很久很久。 我的生命目標比較世俗一點，在現實的世界裡找到一生的伴侶，然後成立一個家庭，接著為了養家而有經營事業的行動，經濟上很獨立，是很能幹的一個人。情緒比較平和與穩定，很能考慮到他人的立場，尤其是面對陌生群眾的時候，會表現出和諧的耐性，對所有人都一視同仁，讓人感覺受到尊重，沒有壓力。 喜歡參與社交場合，會主動熱場，取悅他人，扮演團體中的協調角色，也是眾人的開心果! 我的性格特徵是具有陽性及陰性的二種層面，陽性是對外人會顯示個性很強的一面，所以很多事會因為個性太強而形成阻礙。陰柔的一面是很會照顧人，對人富有同情心，尤其會很照顧自己人，也很重視伴侶。 在愛情上，由於我凡事都喜歡講道理，對感情的表達也像好朋友一樣，比較缺乏深情的羅曼蒂克，但是對婚姻有執著的一面，會很想要結婚，然後建立一個家庭，因為我認為婚姻是人生中很重要的事情，如果婚姻順利，家庭美滿，人生就會過的不錯。 我的優點是富有母性的特質，偏向於保護防衛、照顧和親切的情感，雖然有時話不多，但卻可以讓人感受到真心的溫暖與親情，也能夠發揮出心靈上的關心與照顧，保護別人的心態極強，也很有家庭觀念。我的缺點是容易為了家庭，為了伴侶，會過度強調自己的權威，加上想像力豐富，有時會變得比較情緒化，不講理。 [短篇小說] 最深的愛是放棄我同時有著兩個女朋友...... 一個認識了五年,而真正在一起只有一年多...... 她是我高中同班同學,可愛,樂觀,善解人意, 脾氣非常好,在學校也非常有人緣... 她很了解我,而我也習慣有她陪在我身邊, 所以我們便理所當然的變成男女朋友了... 而我稱她為-天空藍... 另一個一認識就交往,在一起也三年了...... 她是一位外表非常亮麗出色的女人,對自己非常有自信, 而且有著什麼都不怕與愛恨分明的個性... 她很吸引我,我和她更是一見面便爆出火花,一發不可收拾, 所以,我們的關係進展迅速... 而我稱她為-普魯士藍... 本來,這並沒有什麼太大的問題......因為... 雙子座的天空藍不黏人也不纏人, 她對我很信任,給我很大的空間... 而獅子座的普魯士藍則愛天天和我膩在一起, 她喜歡熱鬧喜歡逛街喜歡玩,而對我也是處處關心, 所以什麼都要知道,都要過問... 她們彼此不知道...... 而我,也熱於和她們同時在一起... 一個善解人意... 一個活潑出色... 不過,這關係在我出了一個問題後,有了些改變... 那天,我心血來潮的問天空藍她愛不愛我? 她回答我:我...我很在乎你! 我對她的回答實在有些生氣...... 晚上,我同樣問普魯士藍她愛不愛我? 她摟著我的脖子又咬又親說:我當然愛你...那你愛不愛我?...... 而在這個問題後,我對這兩段感情有了不同的見解了... 我覺得我也比較愛普魯士藍………. 我覺得天空藍和我之間大概真的只有習慣吧! 再來,又因為發生了一件事,使我不得不做出決定了...... 普魯士藍發現了天空藍寫給我的信... 為了證明她愛我,普魯士藍在我面前哭哭鬧鬧割腕, 我一面急著幫她包扎,一面答應給她承諾且會與天空藍作個了結... 當時,我除了震驚外也有少許驕傲的感動, 居然有人為了證明她愛我而割腕... 我想,普魯士藍是真的愛我的...... 所以,我決定和天空藍談談... 我說:反正我和妳本來就只是因為習慣才在一起的, 而且妳又只說在乎我而已, 而普魯士藍都可以為了我而不要命了...... 我們還可以是朋友啊!! 天空藍低頭不語...而我則有些慶喜她沒為難我, 但又很火大,原來她真的不在乎我...... 出了咖啡廳,我急著去找普魯士藍,要告訴她我已解決了...... 一時太心急,沒看左右便忙著過馬路... 突然一輛車朝我衝來...我還來不急反應... 就被人推倒...等我反應過來回頭一看...我... 我...只見天空藍已躺在血泊中了...... 我忙著聯絡天空藍的朋友與家人, 還要急著打電話安撫又在哭鬧的普魯士藍.. 正當我翻著天空藍的背包想找她記事本上的通訊錄時, 我發現了一片劉若英-很愛很愛你的CD, 上面貼著一封署名給我的信...... 其實我早就知道有她的存在了...... 而當你在電話中說要找我談一談時,我已看到了結果...... 不能怪你,是我自己給你太多自由的...... 我捨不得你......但是我願意讓你自己選擇你要的幸福...... 因為我真的...非常在乎你.... 祝你幸福...... 我緊緊握住手上的信...... 我突然了解到了什麼是幸福...... 只是......只是...... 我希望還來的及……… 玫瑰,如果不再盛放, 不是因為風水不好, 而是缺少了細心灌溉的人, 缺少窗邊微笑看花的人..... January 06 【小遊戲推薦】- 用蠟筆畫東畫西、就是要想辦法吃星星 ( Crayon Physics )引述 【小遊戲推薦】- 用蠟筆畫東畫西、就是要想辦法吃星星 ( Crayon Physics ) 唉!今天才醒覺錯晒!
一切都錯晒!
唉!
今天才醒覺!
自從上星期偶然聽到香港電台節目:
(風so快活人)節目裏聽到一句話:
女人身材可以變
但性格係永遠都會變
我絕對應同
我曾經對過同我一齊的女友
用盡一切方法去把對方的錯處(壞性格及行為)改變
我做錯
有句話:
約要人似你
除非兩個你
October 21 有一天，你會捨得女人說：“很想離開他，但每次都捨不得。” 兩個人一起的日子久了，要分手也不是一次就可以分得開的。 明明下定决心跟他分手，分開之後，卻又捨不得，不夠一個星期 ，兩個人就複合了。 複合了一段時間，還是受不了他，這一次，真的下定決心要分手了。 分開之後，又捨不得。 一個月之後，兩個人又再走在一起。 女人悲觀地說：“難道就這樣過一輩子？” 請相信我，終於有一次，你會捨得。 捨不得他，是因為捨不得過去。 和他一起曾經有過很快樂的日子，雖然現在比不上從前，但是他曾經那麼好。 怎捨得他？ 離開之後又回去，因為捨不得從前。 每一次吵架之后，都用從前那段快樂的日子來原諒他。 在回憶裡，他是好的，那就算了吧。 無法忍受他，這一次真的要離開他了。 可是，因為捨不得從前，於是又再給他一次機會。 每次對他有什麼不滿，就用從前最快樂的那段日子來寬恕他。 在回憶裡，他是曾經拿過一百分的。 然而，快樂的回憶也有用完的一天。 有一天，你不得不承認那些美好的日子已經永遠過去了，不能再用來原諒他。 這個時候，你會捨得。 沒有人不怕寂寞，也沒有人真正寂寞寂寞.....該是什麼顏色？
今天無意在電視上聽到陶子說的一段話， 她說無論我們在外如何的廣結善緣
認識了許多不同的朋友，接觸了許多有趣的事， 到最後回到自己的房間裡回到自己的窩又發現，
其實我們最後也只有自己而已
就像我們當初來到這個世界上一樣， 只有自己而已，原來，人是孤單的
然後，在害怕之餘，不斷的看著答錄機，
想有沒有人打電話來留言
不斷的注意手機，想有沒有人傳簡訊來，
沒有 ......
所以又陷入一個又一個的寂寞裡 你也曾經這樣嗎？ 我不懂陶子的世界，但我懂這樣的無奈
也許，現在的陶子很寂寞吧！
所以才在她的新歌中唱出這樣的無奈
曲終人散時，你都在做什麼呢？
一直努力地把自己的生活添滿
然而，我們真的在這種生活中得到了滿足嗎 不斷的上班下班上課下課，看似忙碌的生活 總會在失去某一方，在多出的空白中，感到莫名的空洞， 然後 又開始尋找新的事物，使自己忙碌
說穿了，我們只是不想面對自己，或說不敢， 嗯～是不敢 不敢面對自己，
不敢承認自己沒人緣～哈，沒人緣
其實我們都有許多的朋友，不同的朋友給我們不同的感受 可能你會遇到和你個性不同的人，你看到了你所沒有的東西 所以你想從他身上發現不同的自己， 可能你會遇到和你相同的人 因為太像了，
所以完全瞭解他的所作所為，不會懷疑
可能你會遇到和你完全契合的人， 不用太多言語 就能知道對方在想什麼，
可能你會遇到和你完全不合的人
因為太不同了，所以怎麼都覺得不對 這些人，就是那些是你的朋友的人 他們，又有多少可以真的和你談心呢
或該說，你願意和他們談到多深呢 有時候，真的只是願不願意而已 有空，就關心一下你身邊的人吧 !. 沒有人不怕寂寞，也沒有人真正寂寞 October 13 戀愛的十九個比喻1、 戀愛就像吃辣椒，不吃的時候它總是奇香無比，但真正吃的時候卻辣的你痛不欲生，後悔莫及，發誓永不再吃，然而辣勁剛過，你又對它朝思暮想。越辣越香，越香越辣，你永遠在思念與後悔之間遊離，這就是戀愛的邏輯。
2、 戀愛就像電腦，永遠都有N個毛病等待修理，等你修好後卻發現等待修理的新毛病大於N。
3、 戀愛就像公共汽車，你等待的那一趟永遠都不開來，你不等的卻總是接二連三。
4、 戀愛就像悶熱天的旅途，當你經過長時間苦等，好不容易找到一個座位時，你會聽到列車廣播傳來一個親切的甜美的女聲：本次列車已達到終點站。
5、 戀愛就像擁有兩只手表，你總是無法說清，到底哪個時間更準？
6、 戀愛就像手機，總是謠傳要單向收費，卻永遠出不了台，最後你才發現，謠言發源地不是用戶自己， 就是沒有手機的所謂專家學者。再以後，你不得不說服自己，雙向收費是多麼合理合法。
7、 戀愛就像VCD，盜版總是比正版流行。
8、 戀愛就像某些人眼中的“革命”，標榜著自己多麼高深莫測、多麼潔白無暇，但歸根結底，還是免不了直奔主題：請客吃飯。
9、 戀愛就像小偷，沒有一天能睡個安穩覺，最大的不安全因素往往就是你自己。
10、戀愛就像看電視，手握遙控器，充滿期待地等待好節目，最後精疲力竭倒頭睡去，然而第二天你還忍不住要來等。
11、戀愛就像喝茶，倒掉的都是茶，喝下去的都是水，但是你從不承認自己喝的是白開水，卻總是吹噓自己喝的茶有多麼多麼名貴。
12、戀愛就像打噴嚏，總是不經意間打得出來，刻意要打卻總是打不出來。
13、戀愛就像某些領導，口口聲聲表示要扶植新人，但進入操作層面，新人卻總是發現自己無法與老人抗衡。
14、戀愛就像導演，打出的旗號無一不是藝術至上，其實都是以貌取人。
15、戀愛就像攝影，即使你設備先進、技術精湛，但最後還是少不了暗室操作。
16、戀愛就像春節聯歡晚會，一年比一年辦得熱鬧，一年比一年辦得無聊。
17、戀愛就像智力競賽，規則可以設置無數，但有一條卻一直去不掉，那就是：去掉一個最高分，去掉一個最低分―－最高分總是被優先淘汰。
18、戀愛就像鋼琴，最高雅的內容擺在最不高雅的人家裡，真正的高雅者卻享受不起。
19、 戀愛什麼也不像，就像他自己：她撒嬌嗲，處於童年期；她躁動不安，處於青春期；她喜怒無常，處於更年期；她耳聾眼花，處於老年期。 October 12 男人常說的11句謊言第一句：我不在乎你的容貌 ;
女人似花，男人像蝶，花愈香則蝶愈盛，花越艷則蝶越狂。蝶戀花乃千年不變的真理，男人不在乎女人容貌？那你有沒有聽說過蝶戀草的？ 第二句：我什麼都答應你
男人好像一激動，就忘了自己從來都不是萬能的。他們總是擺出上帝的口氣，不經大腦思考就脫口而出地說我什麼都答應你。或許，他們不知道上帝也不是萬能的，試問一下：上帝創造了人類，創造了萬物，上帝能創造出一塊他自己也搬不動的石頭嗎？ 於是，女人在聽到這句話的時候，常常能聽到接下來的另一句：除了這一件事，我什麼都能答應你！ 第三句：你是我的唯一
女人有政策，男人有對策，女人似乎不可能永遠栓住男人。女人栓得住男人的腰包，栓不住男人的腰帶，女人栓得住男人的情，卻栓不住男人的欲。當你發現男人“紅旗不倒，彩旗飄飄”的時候，你才會懂得唯一不過是瓊瑤編織的女人欺騙女人的童話罷了。 第四句：我不在乎你是不是處女
千萬不要低估了那一層薄薄的膜對男人的魅力，數千年的文化禁錮，不是媒體隨便喊幾聲性解放就能抹煞的。性解放，到頭來得了便宜賣乖的還是男人，受傷流淚的依舊是女人。如果男人真的可以不在乎，除非他只是把你當作是情人又或是一種工具。 第五句：我發誓
當男人在女人面前碰壁的時候，當男人無奈的時候，他們最後的言語居然驚人地相似，指天發誓不過是男人欺騙女人善良天性的一個絕好幌子。對於男人來說，發個誓就好像放個P那般容易。 第六句：是我錯了
女人總以為男人認錯了，便是自己又贏了，孰不知這只是又一次受騙的開始。女人好像很少認錯，可偏偏總是錯上加錯。 第七句：我戒了……
十個男人，七個好煙八個好酒九個好色，還有一個樣樣都好。要是真能戒，那那些煙啊、酒啊、小姐啊，都誰消費掉了？ 第八句：我一定改
你千萬不要被男人翩翩的外表所迷惑，其實只要一回到家裡，甚至只是在美女面前掉了一下頭，他挖鼻孔、扣腳趾的陋習，三天不洗澡五天不洗衣、屋裡邋遢得像狗窩的傳統，便會立馬表露無遺。 第九句：我會娶你的
結婚不是嘴上放放氣的游戲，是要付諸於行動的。說的次數越多，娶你的機率越小，基本成反比。 第十句：我沒騙你
這句話本身就是又騙了你一次，罪上加罪，罪不可赦。不要猶豫，馬上給他一嘴巴。 第十一句：愛你一萬年 P話，最大的P話，你以為女人是烏龜啊，活得了一萬年！ 女人都知道：男人靠得住，豬都會爬樹。可女人依然會前赴後繼地上當受騙，於是，只見傷心落淚的女人，不見會上山爬樹的豬。女人啊女人，或許這就是女人的悲哀！ October 04 ๆ™‚้–“ไฝฟไบบๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ„›ๆƒ…ไธ€ๅ€‹ๅฅณๅญฉๅญไพ†ไฟก่ชช๏ผŒๅฅน็œ‹ไบ†ใ€Š้›ชๅœฐ่ฃก็š„่ธ็‰›ๅฅ„ๅˆ—ใ€‹ไน‹ๅพŒ๏ผŒไธๆ˜Ž็™ฝๆ›ธ่ฃก้€™ๅ…ฉๅฅ๏ผš ใ€€ใ€€โ€œๆ„›ๆƒ…ไฝฟไบบๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ™‚้–“๏ผŒๆ™‚้–“ไนŸไฝฟไบบๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ„›ๆƒ…ใ€‚โ€ ใ€€ใ€€็•ถไฝ ๆ„›ไธŠไธ€ๅ€‹ไบบ๏ผŒไฝ ๆœƒๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ™‚้–“ๅญ˜ๅœจใ€‚ ไฝ ๅฏไปฅๆฏๅคฉไบŒๅๅ››ๅฐๆ™‚่ทŸไป–ไธ€่ตทใ€‚ ไธไป‹ๆ„่Šฑๅๅ››ๅฐๆ™‚ไน˜้ฃ›ๆฉŸๅพž้ฆ™ๆธฏๅˆฐ็พŽๅœ‹่ทŸไป–่ฆ‹ไธ€้ข๏ผŒ็„ถๅพŒๅˆๅŒ†ๅŒ†่ถ•ๅ›žไพ†ใ€‚ ็‚บไบ†่ทŸไป–่ฆ‹้ข๏ผŒไฝ ๆœƒๆŠŠ้‡่ฆๆœƒ่ญฐๅปถๆœŸ๏ผŒๆŠŠ้‡่ฆ็š„ๅทฅไฝœๆ”พๅœจไธ€ๆ—ใ€‚ ไฝ ๅ€‘็ด„ๆœƒไน‹ๅพŒ๏ผŒ้‚„ๅฏไปฅๆ‹ฟ่‘—้›ป่ฉฑ็ญ’่Šๅˆฐๅคฉไบฎใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€ๆ„›ๆƒ…ไฝฟไบบๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ™‚้–“ๆต้€ใ€‚ ไฝ ๆœƒๅฟ˜่จ˜่‡ชๅทฑ็š„ๅนด็ด€ใ€‚ ๅ…ญๅๆญฒ็š„ไบบไนŸๆœƒไปฅ็‚บ่‡ชๅทฑๅชๆœ‰ๅๅ…ซๆญฒใ€‚ ไฝ ๆœƒ่จฑไธ‹ไธ€็”Ÿไธ€ไธ–็š„ๆ‰ฟ่ซพ๏ผŒๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ™‚้–“ๆœƒๆ”น่ฎŠไธ€ๅˆ‡ใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€็„ถ่€Œ๏ผŒๆ™‚้–“ๆต้€๏ผŒไนŸๆœƒไฝฟไบบๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ„›ๆƒ…ๆ›พ็ถ“ๅญ˜ๅœจใ€‚ ๅ…ฉๅ€‹ไบบไธ€่ตท็š„ๆ—ฅๅญไน…ไบ†๏ผŒๆ„›ๆƒ…ไธ€้ปžไธ€ๆปด็š„ๆถˆ้€ใ€‚ ไป–ๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†้€™ไบ›ๅนดไพ†ไป–ๅคš้บผๆ„›ไฝ ๏ผŒไป–ๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†ไฝ ๅ€‘ๆ›พ็ถ“ๅคš้บผๅฟซๆจ‚๏ผŒไนŸๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†ไฝ ๅ€‘ไธ€่ตท็ถ“ๆญทไบ†่จฑๅคšไบ‹ๆƒ…ใ€‚ ๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†๏ผŒๆ‰€ไปฅไป–ๆ„›ไธŠไบ†ๅˆฅไบบใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€็•ถๆ™‚้–“้ŽๅŽป๏ผŒๆˆ‘ๅ€‘ๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†ๆˆ‘ๅ€‘ๆ›พ็ถ“็พฉ็„กๅ้กงๅœฐๆ„›้Žไธ€ๅ€‹ไบบ๏ผŒๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†ไป–็š„ๆบซๆŸ”ใ€‚ ๅฟ˜่จ˜ไบ†ไป–็‚บๆˆ‘ๅš็š„ไธ€ๅˆ‡ใ€‚ ๆˆ‘ๅฐไป–ๅ†ๆฒ’ๆœ‰ๆ„Ÿ่ฆบ๏ผŒๆˆ‘ไธๅ†ๆ„›ไป–ไบ†ใ€‚ ็‚บไป€้บผๆœƒ้€™ๆจฃ๏ผŸ ๅŽŸไพ†ๆˆ‘ๅ€‘็š„ๆ„›ๆƒ…ๆ•—็ตฆไบ†ๆญฒๆœˆใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€้ฆ–ๅ…ˆๆ˜ฏๆ„›ๆƒ…ไฝฟไฝ ๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ™‚้–“๏ผŒ็„ถๅพŒๆ˜ฏๆ™‚้–“ไฝฟไฝ ๅฟ˜่จ˜ๆ„›ๆƒ…ใ€‚ October 03 時間使人忘記愛情一個女孩子來信說，她看了《雪地裡的蝸牛奄列》之後，不明白書裡這兩句： “愛情使人忘記時間，時間也使人忘記愛情。” 當你愛上一個人，你會忘記時間存在。 你可以每天二十四小時跟他一起。 不介意花十四小時乘飛機從香港到美國跟他見一面，然後又匆匆趕回來。 為了跟他見面，你會把重要會議延期，把重要的工作放在一旁。 你們約會之後，還可以拿著電話筒聊到天亮。 愛情使人忘記時間流逝。 你會忘記自己的年紀。 六十歲的人也會以為自己只有十八歲。 你會許下一生一世的承諾，忘記時間會改變一切。 然而，時間流逝，也會使人忘記愛情曾經存在。 兩個人一起的日子久了，愛情一點一滴的消逝。 他忘記了這些年來他多麼愛你，他忘記了你們曾經多麼快樂，也忘記了你們一起經歷了許多事情。 忘記了，所以他愛上了別人。 當時間過去，我們忘記了我們曾經義無反顧地愛過一個人，忘記了他的溫柔。 忘記了他為我做的一切。 我對他再沒有感覺，我不再愛他了。 為什麼會這樣？ 原來我們的愛情敗給了歲月。 首先是愛情使你忘記時間，然後是時間使你忘記愛情。 Staring Me In The FaceThe tray didn't just hit the floor. It crashed and smashed his lunch to pieces. Serves you damn well right, I thought. You were staring again. He stood stock-still and looked down at the food. Suddenly I got up and moved towards him. I hadn't intended to, hadn't wanted to help him. I called to the woman behind the counter. She closed her mouth and brought a cloth to clean up the mess. I picked up crockery, put it on the tray. There was a soppy stain on his trousers and through it you could see just how bony his knees were. Like the rest of him. All bones, dangling jacket and hanging trousers. Stooped shoulders and mile-long arms. Then he smiled at me. A wonderful smile that creased up his worn face and totally surprised me. "Thank you." I shoved the tray at him and went back to my table. I worked at a large publishing company and ate lunch in the canteen. I had noticed him because he stared at me. He was weird-looking. His hair was badly cut and his clothes were ancient and dull; too-short corduroys, baggy at the knees and colour-less sweaters, dotted with fluff. Often he sat alone and just picked at his food. Or he read and jotted things down. A few days after the crash, he stopped at the table I was sharing with Mark from proof reading, and asked if he might sit down. I said the seats were taken and continued eating. He apologised and took his tray off somewhere else. "What's your problem, Leanna?" asked Mark. "No problem. It's just that I like to choose who I share my mealtimes with." "A bit rough on the old chap though." I shrugged. It was Mark who told me more about him. He had gone over to scrounge a cigarette. By the time he came back to the table, I had my head stuck into the news-paper. "Interesting chap. Sub-editor. Been all over the world," said Mark. I decided to find the newspaper more interesting and finally Mark shut up and finished smoking. "Asked your name," he said. "He what?" "Yeah." "What'd you say?" "Leanna, of course." I folded the newspaper. "I've loads of work this afternoon." "Said you look familiar," said Mark. "Like someone he knew." < 2 > "Someone he knew?" "Yeah. Could be strategy. Maybe he fancies you." "Fancies me? But he's old." "Only old enough to be your father." I grabbed my tray and left the table. I didn't do much work that afternoon. I kept wishing Mark hadn't said what he had said. Old enough to be your father. The following week I took along a book to read during lunchtime. When I got into the lift on my floor, he was already inside. He greeted me so I had to reply but I didn't smile. We were alone and that worried me. I wondered whether I should get out at the next floor and walk up the stairs to the canteen. Don't panic, I thought. Just because he's stared at you for ages doesn't mean he's going to do anything. " Well, I suppose one of us should press the button or we'll be here all day, won't we?" I'd been so busy wondering what he was going to do and expecting him to do something, that I'd completely forgotten to do anything myself. I felt like an idiot and this made me smile and I hadn't wanted to. He smiled back, his blue eyes crinkling right up to the grey hair at his ears and making him look ... nice. Then there was a slap. My book hit the floor. I bent down and so did he, and we bashed heads. At that moment, the lift shuddered to a stop and the doors seemed to fling themselves wide open. I was so embarrassed, I marched out of the lift, straight towards the queue at the counter. I ordered without looking at the menu and took my tray to a table where there was only one empty seat. I breathed a sigh of relief and began to eat. But the salad stuck in my throat when I noticed that everyone else at the table had already finished lunch and they were getting up to go. I glanced over at the counter. He was paying and in a second, his eyes would scan the room to find me. I ducked my head. Waited. Any minute now he'd sit down with his tray. Short Stories from Australasia. My book appeared in front of my eyes. His fingers were the longest I'd seen and his nails were manicured. I hadn't thought he'd bother. < 3 > "You left it in the lift," he said. "May I sit down?" His voice was soft. Cultivated. What could I say? The tables were all pretty full so I nodded. He said bon app閠it and began to eat. I'd always thought he picked at his food. But as I watched, I noticed that he selected small pieces, speared them and moved them carefully to his mouth. "Have you been there?" "Been where?" I was totally dazed. From dropping my book and banging my head and everything. "Australia, New Zealand." I stared at him and thought again of what Mark had said about me reminding him of someone. An Australian? Maybe an ex-girlfriend or wife? "Not such a strange question," he said. "You're old enough to have travelled there. And Katherine Mansfield, Janet Frame, are most likely in the book." His smile crinkled up his eyes. "No, I haven't and yes, they are," I said. That's how it started. He asked me a question, nodded when I spoke and then asked another. I was off, talking about reading, books and all that stuff I love. Days later Malcolm passed our table with his tray and spontaneously I said a seat was free. Mark stared at me and I felt a rush of heat to my cheeks. After that, Malcolm often sat with us and he and I discussed a lot of things. We spoke a little about ourselves too. I told him how Mom had brought me up on her own at the start of the Hippie Era. He said he had married during that time but divorced a few years later. Mark asked me how come Malcolm and I always had so much to talk about. "He's easy to talk to. And he reads a lot." "You two got so much to say, I don't get a chance to open my mouth all lunch-time." "You do. You shove food in." One lunchtime Malcom asked me if I'd like to go to a reading with him. "Um. Don't know." "Amelia Turner. Shortlisted for the Booker Prize last year." I wanted very much to go. But although I no longer thought Malcolm quite so weird, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out in his company. "Afterwards, I'll cook us curry. Do you like it? " < 4 > "Love it." "Me too. Settled then?" he asked and smiled his soft smile. It didn't surprise me that I nodded. After the reading and the curry dinner, I went into Malcolm's sitting room where there were more books than I'd ever seen on anyone's shelves. I began to read the titles. "Help yourself," said Malcolm. "Thanks. But if I read a book, I have add it to my collection." "Strange, same here." He waved his arms towards the shelves. "But look where it's got me." "I'd hate to be without books. They're ... friends." "That sounds like lonely," said Malcolm. I turned and pulled out a book. "Are you?" "Am I what?" "Lonely?" I shrugged. "Not really." "Not really but what?" My voice came from a distance as I tried to answer him. "I'm choosy about my friends. Don't have a great many." "I'm listening," said Malcolm and sat down, indicating the armchair opposite him. "My childhood was ... I mean, my mother loved moving around. She had no trouble putting down roots all over the place. I hated it! Books were the constant things, so I buried myself in them." "Hell, sounds familiar." I sat down in the armchair. "I had very academic parents," said Malcolm. "Was an afterthought, perhaps a mistake even. They loved me in their vague intellectual way but left me alone to get on with growing up. Hence the books." "That's lonely, too," I said. When I left, I took along a couple of Malcolm's books. My friendship with Malcolm grew but my curiousity remained. Who did I remind him of? My mother? If so, could he be my father? Although Mom had never bothered with books, our physical similarities, apart from my tallness, were undeniable. She had never told me much about the man who had fathered me. Clever, was all she had usually said. Once though, when I had been ill with chicken pox, and hot and scratchy, she had relented. "What was he like?" "Skinniest man you ever saw." "Where'd you meet him?" "In a park. I was catching a suntan and these papers started blowin' in my face. I was a bit cheesed off at them blowin' all over me and then this man comes runnin'. He grabbed and grabbed but couldn't catch them all. So he jus' stood still, a helpless look on his face. It was so funny, I started laughin'." < 5 > "And then?" "I helped and we chased all over the place after them papers. When we sat down to get our breath back, he told me he was a student. He was ever so clever. Can't re-member what the devil it was he was studyin'. Somethin' I'd never heard of then or since." "Why didn't you marry him?" "Marry him? Good Lord, Leanna, I wasn't ready to marry and he wasn't the type I'd have wanted to marry by a long shot." "What else did he look like, Mom?" "Lord, stop the questions, child. Get some sleep." She saw my disappointment however, and said she would write it all down for me. Put it in an envelope to open when she was dead and gone. I was happy with that. On a wet, slick highway, driving to France for a weekend, she was involved in an accident and died instantly. I was twenty-three then and on my own feet but as I sorted through and packed up the belongings in her flat, I felt like a child again. I looked for the envelope but didn't find one. For a long time after, my mother's death and not knowing who my father was, made me feel as though I was drifting on a sea without horizons. One lunchtime I just decided to brave it and ask Malcolm who I reminded him of. "Met her while I was a student," he said. "Was she studying too?" "Oh, heavens, no. That was what attracted me to her. She was ... so different." "What were you like?" I asked. "Like? Much as I am now. Nose in books, bit of a loner. Not very interesting. Not for a live wire like she was." "Go on," I said. "She fell pregnant. I was very happy until she told me she didn't want my help. Thought she'd change her mind, though, as the pregnancy advanced but when I attempted to see her, she told me to leave her be. I was very hurt but accepted her refusal to involve me. A few months later, I took a job I'd been offered in New York. Salary was dreadful but I thought it would be for the best." "Was it? " I asked. "No. When I returned, they'd moved. Left no forwarding address." < 6 > "So you never knew whether it was a boy or ...? " "A girl?" asked Malcolm. I nodded. "A boy," he said. "Had the approximate date and went to the Registry of Births to look it up." I sat there, trying to take in what Malcom had said. I felt as though I'd been flattened by a truck. "Somewhere out there I have a child I know nothing about," Malcom continued. "I was stupid. Rushed off instead of staying to have a share in my son's life." "I thought perhaps it was a daughter." "Beg your pardon?" "A daughter. Me." "You thought I was ... your father?" "Books, curry, I'm tall. We ... we like the same things." "We definitely have things in common but I'm not your father." He looked at me. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Leanna." I tried to smile. "We're not related but we can be something else." "What?" "Can't you think of anything?" "Uh uh." "Friends." "Friends?" "It's been staring you in the face for weeks." Malcolm's use of that phrase made me burst out laughing. "Let me in on the joke sometime," he said. "Okay," I said. "Tell you sometime seeing we're friends." Then I smiled. And my smile was as wide and warm as the one he smiled in return. October 02 ไธ่ฆๅ†ๅ•ๅคฉ้•ทๅœฐไน…้‚„ๆ˜ฏๆ›พ็ถ“ๆ“ๆœ‰ๆœ‰ไบบๅ•๏ผšโ€œไฝ ๅ–œๆญกๅคฉ้•ทๅœฐไน…๏ผŒ้‚„ๆ˜ฏๆ›พ็ถ“ๆ“ๆœ‰๏ผŸโ€ ใ€€ใ€€ๅ•้€™ไธ€้กžๅ•้กŒ๏ผŒๅทฒ็ถ“ๅคช่ฝไผ๏ผŒๅฏฆๅœจๆฒ’ๅฟƒๆฉŸๅ›ž็ญ”๏ผŒๆ„›ๆƒ…ๆ€Ž่ƒฝ้€™ๆจฃๅˆ†็•Œ๏ผŸ ใ€€ใ€€ไนŸ่จฑ๏ผŒๆฏไธ€ๅ€‹ไบบๅœจๅฆไธ€ๅ€‹ไบบ็š„็”Ÿๅ‘ฝ่ฃก๏ผŒ้ƒฝๆœ‰ไธ€็จฎไฝœ็”จใ€‚ ไฝœ็”จๅฎŒไบ†๏ผŒๅŠŸๅพทๅœ“ๆปฟ๏ผŒไนŸๅฐฑๅˆ†ๆ‰‹ใ€‚ ไป–ๅชๆ˜ฏๅฅน็”Ÿๅ‘ฝ่ฃก็š„ไธ€ๅ€‹้Žๅฎขใ€ไธ€ๅกŠ่ทณๆฟ๏ผŒๅปๅฝฑ้Ÿฟไบ†ๅฅนไธ€่ผฉๅญ๏ผŒ้€™็ฎ—ๆ˜ฏๆ›พ็ถ“ๆ“ๆœ‰๏ผŒ้‚„ๆ˜ฏๅคฉ้•ทๅœฐไน…๏ผŸ ใ€€ใ€€ๅฅนๅœจไป–ๆœ€ๅคฑๆ„็š„ๆ™‚ๅ€™ๅ‡บ็พ๏ผŒไป–ๆœฌไพ†ๅทฒ็ถ“ๆ”พๆฃ„ไธ€ๅˆ‡๏ผŒๅ› ็‚บ้‡ไธŠๅฅน๏ผŒไป–่ฎŠๅพ—็ฉๆฅต้€ฒๅ–ใ€‚ ไธๅ†่‡ชๆ†ใ€‚ไป–ๅพžๅนฝ่ฐท่ฃก่ตฐๅ‡บไพ†๏ผŒ่ฎŠๆˆไธ€ๅ€‹ๅ…‰่Š’ๅ››ๅฐ„็š„ไบบใ€‚ ็„ถๅพŒ๏ผŒๅ› ็‚บ่จฑๅคšๅŽŸๅ› ๏ผŒๅฅน่ฆ้›ข้–‹ไบ†๏ผŒๅฅน็Ÿฅ้“๏ผŒๅฅนๅœจไป–็”Ÿๅ‘ฝ่ฃก็š„ไฝœ็”จๅทฒ็ถ“ๅฎŒไบ†๏ผŒๅณไฝฟๅฅน่ตฐไบ†๏ผŒไป–ไนŸไธๆœƒๅ€’ไธ‹ไพ†ใ€‚ ๆ‰€่ฌ‚็ทฃ็›ก๏ผŒไนŸๅฐฑๆ˜ฏๅฅนๅœจไป–็”Ÿๅ‘ฝ่ฃกๆ‰ฎๆผ”็š„่ง’่‰ฒๆ˜ฏๆ™‚ๅ€™ๆถˆๅคฑไบ†ใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€ๅฅนๆœฌไพ†ๆ˜ฏไธ€ๅ€‹ๅพˆ็ฐกๅ–ฎ็š„ๅฅณไบบ๏ผŒไปฅ็‚บๆ„›ๆƒ…ๅฐฑๆ˜ฏไบบ็”Ÿ็š„ๅ…จ้ƒจ๏ผŒๆ•ดๅคฉๆ†งๆ†ฌ่‘—่ทŸ่‡ชๅทฑๅฟƒๆ„›็š„็”ทไบบ็ตๅฉšใ€็”Ÿๅญฉๅญ๏ผŒ้Ž่‘—ๅนธ็ฆ็š„็”Ÿๆดป๏ผŒ็›ดๅˆฐ้‡ไธŠไป–๏ผŒๅฅนๆ‰็Ÿฅ้“่‡ชๅทฑๅฏไปฅไธๅนณๅ‡กใ€‚ ๆ„›ๆƒ…ๅŽŸไพ†ไธๆ˜ฏไบบ็”Ÿ็š„ๅ…จ้ƒจ๏ผŒๅฅนไธๅ†ๆ†งๆ†ฌ็ตๅฉšๅ’Œ็”Ÿๅญฉๅญ๏ผŒๅฅนๅฐๅนธ็ฆ็š„็”Ÿๆดปๆœ‰ไบ†ๆ–ฐ็š„่ฆ‹่งฃใ€‚ ไธ€ๅคฉ๏ผŒไป–่ฆ้›ข้–‹ๅฅนไบ†๏ผŒ้›–็„ถๅ‚ทๆ„Ÿ๏ผŒไฝ†ๆ˜ฏไป–็•™็ตฆๅฅน็š„้คŠไปฝ๏ผŒๅฐ‡ๆœƒๆป‹ๆฝคๅฅนไธ€่ผฉๅญใ€‚ ใ€€ใ€€ไธ่ฆๅ†ๅ•ๅคฉ้•ทๅœฐไน…้‚„ๆ˜ฏๆ›พ็ถ“ๆ“ๆœ‰๏ผŸ ๅ‡กๆ˜ฏ็พŽๅฅฝ็š„ๆฑ่ฅฟ็ธฝๆ˜ฏไปฅไธๅŒๅฝขๅผๅœฐไน…ๅคฉ้•ท๏ผŒๅŠŸๅพทๅœ“ๆปฟใ€‚ ็•ถๅคฉๅˆ†ๆ‰‹็š„ๆ™‚ๅ€™๏ผŒไฝ ๅพˆๅ‚ทๅฟƒ๏ผŒไปŠๅคฉๅ›ž้ฆ–๏ผŒไฝ ๆ‰้†’่ฆบ๏ผŒไป–้›ข้–‹๏ผŒๅ› ็‚บไป–็š„ไฝœ็”จๅทฒ็ถ“ๅฎŒไบ†ใ€‚ ไบบ็”Ÿไฝ•่™•็„ก้›ขๅˆฅ๏ผŸ ๆœ€้‡่ฆๆ˜ฏไฝ ๅ€‘ๅ„่‡ชๅœจๅฐๆ–น็š„็”Ÿๅ‘ฝ่ฃก่ตท้Žไธ€ไบ›ไป€้บผไฝœ็”จใ€‚ย ย Talking about Are You A Bellyflop Champion?
Quote Are You A Bellyflop Champion? September 27 不要再問天長地久還是曾經擁有有人問：“你喜歡天長地久，還是曾經擁有？” 問這一類問題，已經太落伍，實在沒心機回答，愛情怎能這樣分界？ 也許，每一個人在另一個人的生命裡，都有一種作用。 作用完了，功德圓滿，也就分手。 他只是她生命裡的一個過客、一塊跳板，卻影響了她一輩子，這算是曾經擁有，還是天長地久？ 她在他最失意的時候出現，他本來已經放棄一切，因為遇上她，他變得積極進取。 不再自憐。他從幽谷裡走出來，變成一個光芒四射的人。 然後，因為許多原因，她要離開了，她知道，她在他生命裡的作用已經完了，即使她走了，他也不會倒下來。 所謂緣盡，也就是她在他生命裡扮演的角色是時候消失了。 她本來是一個很簡單的女人，以為愛情就是人生的全部，整天憧憬著跟自己心愛的男人結婚、生孩子，過著幸福的生活，直到遇上他，她才知道自己可以不平凡。 愛情原來不是人生的全部，她不再憧憬結婚和生孩子，她對幸福的生活有了新的見解。 一天，他要離開她了，雖然傷感，但是他留給她的養份，將會滋潤她一輩子。 不要再問天長地久還是曾經擁有？ 凡是美好的東西總是以不同形式地久天長，功德圓滿。 當天分手的時候，你很傷心，今天回首，你才醒覺，他離開，因為他的作用已經完了。 人生何處無離別？ 最重要是你們各自在對方的生命裡起過一些什麼作用。 |
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